Tips for preparing + introducing your older kiddo to the new baby

Transitioning from being parents of 1 to being parents of 2 is an interesting, joyful and sometimes very difficult process. This can also be a difficult and confusing time for your older kid who has always had your full attention and hasn't had to share you before. So we thought we'd share some tips on how to introduce your older kiddo to the new baby. 

Preparation

1. Talk about it. Explain to your child what is going to happen. Tell them about their new sibling that will be arriving. Let them know that it won't be an immediate playmate. 

2. Involve them in the process. Let them help you pick out baby clothes, decorate the nursery, come with to the scan (if your doctor allows it) etc. It will help make the new baby feel real before the actual arrival. 

3. Prepare them for being the big brother or sister. Complete potty training, set them up in their big kid bed, start giving them tiny responsibilities etc. By doing this before the baby arrives, they won't feel the shock as much and will already be used to some changes. 

4. Line up who will be caring for your older kiddo while you're in the hospital. Make sure it is someone your kiddo feels safe and comfortable with like a grandparent, aunt or godparent. Make sure that they spend enough time with that person leading up to the birth of the new baby so they aren't surprised to be spending a longer period of time with them. 

Introduction

5. Get a family member or friend to bring the kiddo to the hospital for a quick visit. During this time let the family member hold the baby so you can cuddle and give your devoted attention to your kiddo. 

6. Let your kiddo say hello to the baby whilst you or your spouse are holding it. If your kiddo is still quite little, they won't be able to hold the baby yet. 

7. Give your kiddo something special from the baby. This will make them feel special and noticed whilst everyone is giving the baby a lot of attention. It will also help them not feel too many negative feelings towards the baby.

8. Take your kiddo out to their favourite place just one-on-one without the baby. This will let them know that they aren't forgotten in this confusing process. Keep letting your kiddo know that they are loved and special to you even though things have changed. 

This article was adapted from an incredible Mayo Clinic article. Read more about helping your kiddo adjust, older kiddos acting out, breastfeeding around your kiddo and more in the original article here. 

Top image found here. 

On being a good enough mom

We know we can't be perfect, no one can, but as a mother it is a difficult concept to remember. We believe that if we aren't perfect moms and wives and women, then we're failing. The truth is that we are good enough, even in our imperfections. Read this excerpt from Wit and Delight about being a good enough mom. 

"When caregivers let their humanity show in manageable ways in the safety of the family circle, children learn big lessons: The world still turns when it doesn’t revolve around them. Parents should be safe but cannot be all-powerful. Do not be surprised by your own shortcomings. Be patient, be prepared to problem solve, and be aware of your own responsibility.

Acceptable. Adequate. These are good; they are enough.

“Good Enough” isn’t just passable – it’s the only real option. The “Best Mother” bill of goods begins in fear of pain or failure, vulnerability or lack of control, feelings of inadequacy or uncertainty about personal worth, pride, comparison and incorrect assumptions about others, unobtainable standards, or impossible expectations. In truth, no one is either a) perfect or b) surrounded by and steeped in perfect circumstances. Shame, disgust, or denial in response to honest human mistakes is misdirected and unhelpful."

Read the full article here. 

Top image source unknown. 

Mindy Kaling on Learning to be a Mother

Not everyone is a baby person. That doesn't mean you won't be a good mother one day. Read what Mindy Kaling had to say about her change of perspective when she became a mama. 

“[Motherhood] is really profound and strange. I was not a kid person at all. I was the person, if you had a baby at a party, I would go up to them and shake their hand and be like, ‘Hello.’ So, I didn’t know or understand how to be around babies. I was on planes and when babies would cry, I would be mad at the families. Now I’m like, ‘Let them cry, let them do whatever they want. They can sit on me and poop if they want.’ Now I know more.” - Mindy Kaling

Top image found here. 

On parenting during the terrible twos

Parenting a toddler can be difficult + test your patience on a daily basis. We loved this honest article on Toddler Battles on The Everymom. Here's an extract:

"These cute, but oh-so-obstinate little creatures can try our patience and make it very clear that they don’t call them the terrible two’s and threenagers for nothing. So I started making the conscious decision between deciding when to engage and when to let them do their thing.

For me, that came when my 3-year-old decided he had to pick out his own clothes for nursery school. At first, I tried to make sure what he was wearing at least, you know, matched, but after a few days of arguments (anyone else ever tried to successfully rationalize with a 3-year-old?), clothes all over the floor, and being late for school, I realized that, in fact, it really wasn’t a big deal. Now, as long as it’s somewhat seasonally appropriate, he can wear whatever he wants—even if that’s a Batman shirt, red pajama bottoms, and two different socks."

Read more here. 

Top image found here.